God is not enough

I had the opportunity to speak this week at LifeBridge in Longview, TX. I am always grateful for the belief that Pastor Tom McDaniels has shown in me as a speaker. It is really only in the past year or so that he has helped me to see that maybe public speaking is a gift that God has given me. Complete disconnect and utter enthrallment share the same facial expression when you are speaking to a group of people. For many years I presumed disconnect.

It strikes me as odd that Adam, in the garden before Eve was created, had everything to sustain his life. Creation was completed, he had unencumbered access to true, face to face relationship with God, yet something wasn’t right. The Bible doesn’t tell us that Adam had any problem being alone. After all, he had seemingly everything. Yet God said it wasn’t good that he was alone. Could it be that the God of the universe, who created all things could see something that Adam couldn’t? One simple idea that is encapsulated all throughout scripture, the Lord’s prayer, the Ten Commandments, and clearly stated in the great commandment Jesus gave in Mathew. The simple idea that concerning our life here on earth, God is not enough. We must have each other.

To say God is not enough to a church group invites the looks I was speaking of earlier. It is difficult to tell sometimes the difference between utter disconnect and complete engagement. Again, they share the same facial expression. The knee jerk reaction of most believers to the statement that God is not enough is complete disconnect. Yet, it is an idea that is rampant throughout the Biblical narrative. The five fold ministry gifts were not given for God, they were given for man. The gifts of the Spirit are not necessary to God, they are given for us. The fruit of the Spirit are largely given for the same reason. You don’t need a great deal of temperance until you meet someone else.

Concerning salvation God is everything we need. Concerning living a life in Christ on earth, we all desperately need one another. The idea that we by ourselves can not fulfill the complete purpose that God created man to begin with I will save for the book form of
this idea. To keep this short it is enough to say that without other people, we, like Adam, can have food, water, shelter, work, all of the things that sustain life. In addition to these things we can even have intimate relationship with God. Yet, like Adam, our lives in God’s eye still is not good.

I welcome your questions and comments,

Jeff

Intentional marriage

The more I meet with couples who are struggling with their marriage the clearer it is to me that one of the greatest problems plauging marriages in this day and age is simply the unintentional way in which we navigate these relationships. Simple questions for believing couples like do you pray together are generally answered with a no. Even questions like are you intentional about a date night with your spouse bring sparse answers.

I truly believe that in any relational context. The only way to make the relationship work is by intentionally focusing our time, effort and attention on making it work. I would like to point out something that is a little lost in today’s society. That is the idea of marrying for love in the context of human history is a relatively new concept. For the first 5000 years or so of man’s existence marriages were put together either in arranged format or some other cultural construct as a means for companionship with the understanding that love would be cultivated in the context of that relationship as it grew. Today for whatever reason that paradigm has swung very widely in the opposite direction. Many people are looking for someone they fall in love with that they can marry to cultivate companionship with. I would submit that this is a false paradigm. In no way am I advocating returning to the dark ages of arranged marriages, I just think we would be much better served, particularly in the body of Christ counseling with couples who were contemplating marriage and instructing them in the ways of companionship. As anyone who has ever been in love can attest, the feeling of love is a fleeting feeling. We do not practice love as the verb that it is intended to be, rather we practice love as if it were a noun. We still believe that love is found in a person, place, or thing. When in reality love is found in the fruit of our hand and the fruit of our lips.

The point that I am trying to make is that if this writing finds you in a place where your marriage is no longer sweet and you’re having to endure every day wondering how much worse he can get, I believe if you survey the past several years of your life you’ll realize that neither you nor your spouse has been intentional in making your relationship work. We get into the death spiral of reacting in every situation in our relationship rather than being proactive in how we navigate the situations we find ourselves in. It is kind of like a tennis match where one spouse is on each side of the net hitting the ball over to the other side wondering how the ball will be returned. My suggestion is you both put the rackets down for a moment, stop the game go to the bench and talk about the way the game is going to be in played. It’s time to be intentional about your relationship.

Allow me to plant this thought. Someone is intentionally pursuing relationship with your spouse as we speak. It might be in a business context. It might be in a personal context it might be in a hobby context, but somebody is being intentional about relationship with them. Don’t let the only place they find intentional pursuit be found outside of your relational context. Be intentional about pursuing companionship with your spouse and love will follow. After all we do not want to commit random acts of love against our enemies. But our companions we will gladly show love to in word and deed. Your life will end up at a destination. Your marriage will end up at a destination. That is not the debate. The question is whether or not you will allow yourself to be a passenger that is dragged along to that destination by circumstances of life or whether or not you will be the one driving the car when you arrive at the intended, intentional destination you’ve chosen together.

Esteem – One thing every married woman should know about a man

Esteem. It is a weird sounding word that at first listen sounds like it has something to do with laundry. It is not a laundry term, but it is one of the more scarce qualities of many marriages. Webster’s defines it as:
To regard highly or favorably; regard with respect or admiration: Ex: I esteem him for his honesty.

I am going to keep this brief so hopefully some will read it. ☺ If you have had the privilege of having a son or a brother, when that child was little you probably experienced at some point a story similar to that little romancer running outside to the yard and picking dandelions (that he just knew were flowers) and bringing them inside to give to mom with a huge, proud statement such as “Look what I picked for you!” He does this for one reason alone. God has built in to man a great need for honor and respect. This comes in the form of esteem. He does this for the response that he hopes it will solicit from the object of the gift. He feels appreciated, alive, needed, and honored when his mom responds favorably to the gift with praise. Of course she realizes something he doesn’t. It’s not a flower at all and there is certainly nothing special about them. After all, they grow in every yard. She is able to see the beauty in the gift, not because of the gift, but because of the sincerity and purity of the motive of its offering.

The point that I want to make is that the thing that motivates that little boy to do something as goofy as pick a weed and present it with pride as a cherished gift is the same thing that motivates most men to go to work every day, to paint a living room, to fix a leaky faucet, etc. The truth is that that motivation never leaves a man. It is the thing that God put in him at creation – a need for honor and respect.

If you are married to a man who struggles with purveying non-sexual affection, he probably digs in to things like work. This can add to the struggle for a woman in a marriage who feels as though she is not receiving the affection she needs. If you are a man who struggles with non-sexual affection, you may not even realize why you dig in to work so hard when things are rough at home.

The truth is that this basic need never leaves man. Ladies, while his effort may seem like he is presenting a weed to you as though it is a prized gift, see if you can keep in perspective to the situation the reality of the basic need he has for honor and respect. Sure it is a weed. Perhaps diving in to a path of esteem by verbal praise and thanks for the things that are done could change his heart through the feeling of acceptance and appreciation he will now receive from you in such a way that it moves his heart toward the honor and respect he is feeling from you in that moment because it is meeting a basic need that he has that was placed there at creation. This of course is assuming an otherwise healthy relationship. He will find the praise for his effort somewhere! Maybe a paycheck, maybe a promotion, maybe an award, or even a relative, but this basic need will be met somehow. By choosing to be the one who meets this need for him you take a proactive stance toward esteeming him and having a healthy marriage by actively seeking to engage this basic human reality.

Would love to know what you think!

A letter from Paul to the Charismatic church in 2011

This is a letter that Paul wrote to the church at Corinth. I have removed the chapter and verse markers and put it in a letter format. God is love. The gifts of the Spirit are given by God. The gifts point to God. The gifts should point to Love. (Gal 5:16) Read it this way and see if you view the context of the gifts of the Spirit any differently.

Now concerning spiritual gifts, brethren, I would not have you ignorant. Ye know that ye were Gentiles, carried away unto these dumb idols, even as ye were led. Wherefore I give you to understand, that no man speaking by the Spirit of God calleth Jesus accursed: and that no man can say that Jesus is the Lord, but by the Holy Ghost.

Now there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are differences of administrations, but the same Lord. And there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all. But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal. For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit; To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit; To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues: But all these worketh that one and the selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will.

For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ.
For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.

For the body is not one member, but many. If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling? But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.

And if they were all one member, where were the body?
But now are they many members, yet but one body.
And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.
Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary: And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.

For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked. That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another. And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it. Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular. And God hath set some in the church, first apostles, secondarily prophets, thirdly teachers, after that miracles, then gifts of healings, helps, governments, diversities of tongues.

Are all apostles? are all prophets? are all teachers? are all workers of miracles?
Have all the gifts of healing? do all speak with tongues? do all interpret? But covet earnestly the best gifts: and yet shew I unto you a more excellent way.

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

God is love. The gifts of the Spirit are given by God. The gifts point to God. The gifts should point to Love. (Gal 5:16)

Supernatural Spaces

“Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10)

I once heard it said that if Satan can not make you sin he will spread you thin. That is a cute rhyme but it carries a powerful truth. The need to do is one of the greatest enemies to our intimacy and understanding of God. We can even carry this into our prayer lives. I am always amused at someone who says they have a relationship with God, yet when they pray they do all of the talking. One sided conversations make for strained relationships. At the very best the unheard party will be greatly misunderstood. In our sincerity to “do” Christianity the right way or to “say a prayer” (something you do) we trade intimacy for achievement. We look at the ability to pray for one hour continuously as the crown jewel of a healthy relationship with God. The irony is that the very things that we employ to make us stronger Christians could be weakening our understanding of the personality of God, simply because of our inability to identify the supernatural spaces where God exists in one on one relationships.

My challenge to you is to not be afraid of nothingness. Don’t fear prayer time that has few words from you. Replace the need to ‘do’ prayer with a cup of coffee and a quiet heart and mind. God lives relationally in the space between our thoughts, in the silence between our words, in the stillness between our actions, and in the holes in our calendar. It is interesting to me that Psalms does not admonish us to know He is God. It admonishes us to first be still. The french scientist Blaise Pascal was quoted as saying that, “all of the problems that man face stem from his inability to sit alone in a room quietly.”I don’t know if Pascal was a believer or not but I believe he had a good understanding of “be still”.

Don’t trade intimacy for achievement, don’t trade an understanding of God’s character and personality for a sense of accomplishment. Get alone with God and a cup of your favorite frothy beverage, invite His presence in for the first few moments through praise (not petition) and then turn off the words, turn of the thoughts and see if you do not find the still small voice of God in these supernatural spaces.

Closing the Carnalval

Do you believe that God places a higher priority on emotion or intellect?

In the Charismatic church ( of which I have been a part of for a very long time ) I have come to understand that God uses the emotions of man for His purposes. It is as though emotions have been linked to spirituality. The more emotional the display, the more significant the spirituality. I have also come to understand through direct but mostly indirect teaching intellect to be prideful and something that we one day will be delivered from. It is as though intellect and flesh have been linked as synonymous. So of course, if spirituality is good and intellect is bad we choose to chase spirituality. I want to challenge your thinking concerning this.

Intellect in Websters is defined as “the power or faculty of the mind by which one knows or understands”. For much of my charismatic experience (as I stated earlier) it has been something that we should seek to repress and limit the function of for the sake of deeper spirituality. Wisdom is a high prize in scripture and in the charismatic experience. Websters defines it as “knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action.” Hmm…. interesting. So if wisdom is the knowledge of what is right coupled with the understanding or “just judgment” as to its practical application; and intellect is the mechanism by which one gains knowledge couldn’t we surmise that wisdom can not be obtained outside of intellect? After all, you have to possess the knowledge to apply it. The word judgment itself in this context implies reasoning. So again I ask, can you achieve wisdom outside of intellect?

I will make one other point before I am excoriated by the hyper-spiritual emotional types in my life. Emotion is subject to intellect in the most fundamental of ways. If I were to tell you of the death of a three year old child it would evoke sadness and negative emotion in you. Before you continue reading, pause here and ask yourself why you see the death of a three year old as sad…………(pausing to answer)……..Most answers will contain the word “know” in the first few words. It is sad because you know the potential of the life of a child. Learning of the death of that child saddens you because of what you know to be true about what that child could have been. Conversely, if I were to deliver you news that a rich relative left you millions of dollars (and it were true) you would feel elated. This is because of what you know to be true about what you can do with that sort of money.

I submit that emotion is subject to intellect because we have no emotional response to a thing outside of our knowledge of it. The more intimate the knowledge the stronger the emotional response. The more vague the knowledge, the weaker is the same.

So pull this idea into out Christian experience. Most people whom I have met who oppose the spirit filled church do not have a problem with God. They usually have a problem with the carnival act that follows these sorts of emotionally charged services. Ironically, we as a people historically have had one of the worst reputations for manifesting the fruit of the Spirit. We love the gifts of the Spirit but minor on the fruit. This is evidenced by our “gifts of the Spirit” seminar to “fruit of the Spirit” seminar ratios that we hold. Have you ever heard of a fruit of the Spirit seminar? I haven’t. Maybe they exist but they sure aren’t as prevalent as the healing, prophecy, signs and wonders seminars. The irony here is that most of these seminars hinge the supernatural experience on faith. When Galatians 5:16 tells us that faith works through love. There is the new testament pointing the key ingredient that we teach as being the catalyst to the signs and wonders we covet back to the fruit of the Spirit.

Jesus said “greater works” we would do because of the Holy Spirit being with us. Have you ever considered that the disciples while they followed Jesus, as well as the people whom Jesus performed miracles for while he walked the earth were not saved? They couldn’t have been. Jesus had not died for their sin yet. They were believers, but degenerate in mind, soul, and spirit. Could it be that the greater things that Jesus said that we would do would revolve around the empowerment to manifest the fruit of the Spirit on the earth through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit living in us? I am not saying that the gifts of the Spirit have passed away, quite the contrary. I am just not sure we will see them at work again on the earth as they did for Jesus until we manifest enough of the fruit of the Spirit in our collective character that the gifts become the overflow of the LOVE relationship we have with God, not the basis for its proof. Could this be the embodiment of the people described in 2 Tim 3 being “lovers of pleasures rather than lovers of God. Having a form of Godliness but denying the power thereof.” I submit that the noise and emotionalism that has defined our services is the “form of Godliness” and that the fruit of the Spirit is the “power thereof.” How many people have we alienated and pushed away from God in the name of a move of God. Yet we leave those services largely unchanged in character, with questions in our own heart about the real world validity of the things we experienced. In Mathew 7:22-23

Many will say to Me in that day, “Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?” And then I will declare to them, “I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.”

Guess what my Spirit filled peeps, these are Spirit filled people He is addressing. Not too many mainline evangelicals prophesy, cast out demons, and do many wonders. He calls them those who practice lawlessness. Sobering to my understanding thus far.

I submit that our emotionalism is void of intellect and driven by carnality. A desire to manufacture a tangible move of what we consider to be deep spiritual activity is akin to spiritual pornography. We come for what we get out of the experience but never fully give ourselves to the intimacy that produces the fruit in our character. The scripture that talks about having a form of Godliness but denying the power thereof immediately follows comparing that person to one who visits a harlot. Not by mistake in my mind.

I am by no means saying that our charismatic experience should be devoid of emotion. On the contrary, when we come to a balanced understanding of the Holy Spirit and His wonderful work in our lives we can enter into the fullness of a healthy emotional life toward ourselves, God, and man. It is when our emotions are guided by wisdom which is defined as the ability to apply knowledge to situations that we have collected in our intellect that we reach a place of true balance. Add to that balance a deep, experiential manifestation of the presence and power of God in our lives, combined with an outward working of the fruit of the Spirit and we become irresistible to the lost. In this balance we can close the carnalval (intentional play on words) and open a real dialogue with a lost world about a real piece that is really missing from their life.

A funny story.. not sure who wrote it…

A funny story.. not sure who wrote it…

A management consultant, on holiday in a African fishing village, watched a little fishing boat dock at the quayside. Noting the quality of the fish, the consultant asked the fisherman how long it had taken to catch them.
“Not very long.” answered the fisherman.
“Then, why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?” asked the consultant.
The fisherman explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.
The consultant asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”
“I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, have an afternoon’s rest under a coconut tree. In the evenings, I go into the community hall to see my friends, play the drums, and sing a few songs….. I have a full and happy life.” replied the fisherman.

The consultant ventured, “I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you…… You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat. With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have a large fleet. Instead of selling your fish to a middleman, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to a city here or maybe even in the United Kingdom, from where you can direct your huge enterprise.”
“How long would that take?” asked the fisherman.
“Oh, ten, maybe twenty years.” replied the consultant.
“And after that?” asked the fisherman.
“After that? That’s when it gets really interesting,” answered the consultant, laughing, “When your business gets really big, you can start selling shares in your company and make millions!”
“Millions? Really? And after that?” pressed the fisherman.
“After that you’ll be able to retire, move out to a small village by the sea, sleep in late every day, spend time with your family, go fishing, take afternoon naps under a coconut tree, and spend relaxing evenings with friends.

63% of youth suicides are from fatherles

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census)

more famous fatherless folks, JOHN WILKE

more famous fatherless folks,
JOHN WILKES BOOTH, JEFFREY DAHMER
CHARLES MANSON

Some famous people who were fatherless S

Some famous people who were fatherless SADDAM HUSSEIN, SIRHAN SIRHAN, ADOLPH HITLER
JACK THE RIPPER, LEE HARVEY OSWALD